Markley, van Camp and Robbins | July 9, 2021
The Boys are claiming mission accomplished with having a great week, and President Joe Biden is claiming mission accomplished in Afghanistan. The CDC is recommending full, in-person instruction, and Michael Avenatti absolutely humiliated himself during his sentencing. A city engulfed by violence is now begging the federal government for help, and Obama’s ethics chief slammed Biden over a reported move to keep Hunter’s art buyers secret. Toyota says it will stop donating to Republicans who questioned the election, and it is now socially acceptable to walk your cat. A Lincoln Project founder is convinced that the Capitol riot is “profoundly more dangerous” than 9/11, and Heinz wants to force hot dog and bun companies to sell ten-packs. Universities are openly scamming young people, and the federal government is quietly setting up a new surveillance bureau. Ryan Fujitani returns for his Friday cinema update, and we’re celebrating the follicly-challenged with The Friday Five — Best Bald Musicians.